141013 #침침생축ㅎ ♥

지민이 ♥

방탄이의 베이글남 사나이 박지민 ♥

생일 죽하해!!!

140831 Lotte Family Concert

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

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due to the Sewol tragedy, the 18th Lotte Duty-Free Family Concert had been postponed from..April, I think, until now, and since Bangtan was performing (maybe as replacement for GOT7? who were originally on the schedule, but didn't perform) I was d e s p e r a t e to attend.

140823 나눔 Sharing Concert in Seoul

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

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a couple of days earlier, when I was checking Bangtan's schedule for fansigns, I did notice that they suddenly had this performance on the program even though I had heard no one talk about it.
but since it was just two days away, and I am completely clueless about how to go about things here in Korea, I just shrugged it off.

but then the next night a sweet new aquaintance, who's also in Korea at the moment, asked if we were going to the concert, and I was like, no cos no tickets and blah blah blah.
then she said to try and search on twitter, cos she had just bought one for 35000 Won. I was completely mind-blown cos 35k?!!? what the hell, why so cheap?!?

she told me to search in Korean, and I told her I don't understand Korean at that level, but in the end I still gave it a shot cos what the hell, it couldn't hurt, right?

140821 Taemin at MCountdown Begins Open Studio

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the open studio, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

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so this whole thing came about as sort of a chance thing.
I saw an acquaintance, who's also currently in Korea and doing the whole kpop thing full on, make a questioning tweet about Bangtan maybe doing Open Studio today since this was their comeback day for Dark & Wild.

she wasn't sure so I asked my K friend, Chris, cos since Taemin's currently promoting (I wrote this on the actual day, but I didn't finish it until now. he's not promoting anymore), she's totally on top of music show schedules.
of course she knew and she told me it wasn't Bangtan this week cos it was Taemin. she asked if we were gonna come watch cos she was going there right now. Taemin was having radio schedule in the afternoon so almost all the noonas had gone to watch that, so she figured there wouldn't be that many lining up at the moment.

140726-28 Berlin for Bangtan "RWeL8?" Fanmeet

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about RWeL8?, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff, but feel free to scroll down to around the pictures of the gift boxes.


because this was Berlin we wanted to have as much time there as possible, so after a few hours of sleep we got up at an ungodly 3:30am.
we didn't really expect many people at the airport at 5:45, but much to our surprise this was the most crowded we've ever seen it?! thankfully the security check was really efficient cos there were literally hundreds of people in front of us, but it only took about 10 mins to get through.

a piece of my heart

a few weeks before going to Berlin for 방탄소년단's fanmeet "RWeL8?", Miranda, who we were meeting up with down there, found out there was gonna be gift boxes for the boys, so in the last few weeks I scrambled to get everything I wanted ready.
my life pretty much revolved around choosing and buying stuff, writing letters, getting them translated to Korean (bless Sophia forever), handwriting everything, and wrapping all the gifts and letter boxes.

it's finally here

FINALLY. August 2014.

Korea.

I've been trying to remember back to the other times, how I felt in the weeks before we left cos I don't think I've ever felt like this before.

it's probably because we've done things so differently this year.
nothing is organized and everything is Bangtan and it's had me wondering. am I this excited cos of kpop or Korea? cos everyone I talk to about going to Korea only has a kpop angle and I could feel myself getting caught up in the excitement of the possibilities of being over there in person.

but at the same time there's no doubt in my mind that I would never prioritize my precious scarce time in Korea chasing idols or waiting in airports or queues for hours on end.

I wanna go to concerts if possible, and now that Taemin's having his solo debut and Bangtan's coming back while we're over there we'll definitely see if they'll be having fansigns in places we'd go to anyway, but I won't be in line for music shows and I won't be camping out at Bighit.

so this is definitely Korea feels, but in a way, cos we're not really in Korea-mode at all, it feels so surreal that August is finally here. I'm not ready??

and at the same time I couldn't be more ready. I crave that place. I dream about it at night. my impatience and feels bubbles over in seconds if I start to think about it.

I already know it's gonna be too hot and too perfect and over way too fast ㅠㅠ

can it never be August 9th already???

reality check, check.

do you ever get so frustrated and angry that you just start to cry and then can't seem to stop again?

that was me two days ago. crying, and for the first time in my life I had the urge to throw something. 

140613 #방탄생일ㅊㅋ

정국아~❤

잘지내죠?? ^^

방탄소년단 일년 데뷔 추카추카!!! ★

∞ my fic rec list ∞

150126 - edit: I briefly saw muttering about aff being shut down by the police, but I haven't had time to check it out for myself, but if aff links are dead that might be why..

150130: aff's back? for good..? idk.

∞∞∞

when I got truly sucked into kpop in the early months of 2011 I had never even heard the words fanfiction, otp, shipping, smut or yaoi, but safe to say that all changed in the blink of an eye.

ever since, I've wanted to make a rec list. why? no clue really, since I hardly know people who actually read fics, and the ones that do, never seem to read the same as me. 

so probably it's mostly for my own benefit, so I can have a place to keep track of everything.


currently the list is Bangtan, and a touch of SHINee and Infinite.

a...sexual?

today I read these three posts - here, here, and here (3rd link is dead now, unfortunately) - written by an asexual about, um, how to say...her views on life and love and sex from her/an asexual's point of view.

I was Googling "body worship" for something else, but that's another story.

anyway, you sorta have to read the three two posts before reading mine, even if you do know about asexualism.

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[big fat disclaimer] before reading these posts I had absolutely no idea what asexualism was or meant, and to be fair, I still only know what this person wrote, and haven't researched or investigated the topic further.

so everything I'm about to say should not be taken as a comment on asexualism as a whole, but solely a reaction to these three posts, period.

I am not passing judgment on asexuals (I mean, love thy neighbour and all that), but merely reacting to some points that this individual set up.
and should you happen to be said individual, I hope you won't take offense. this is all out of curiosity and interest and ignorance, and cos you moved things in me.

family ties

my sister's ex-husband is a selfish douche and I am so fucking tired of him.

gotcha day..

recently I'm seeing a lot of people talk about how they celebrate gotcha day, and it's just such a weird concept to me.. especially when it's celebrated like a birthday.
I haven't heard of anyone who didn't also celebrate their actual birthday, but somehow acting like gotcha day is a birthday is almost..slightly negating the Korean part?
we didn't start our lives in an airport, or the day we were handed over.

I dunno, maybe it's not negating anything, but when I think about the concept of gotcha day it just stirs something defensive in me.

I know people also do celebrate their actual birthday, I guess I just don't understand the need to make a special fuss about gotcha day.
lots of adoptees have siblings biological to their adoptive parents, should they then get a conception day or 1st sonogram day or..?
and why make that distinction between adoptive and biological children? or maybe families with both never celebrate gotcha day..

I never celebrated gotcha day, and you might be thinking I'm just regretful and jealous, but I'm really not.
I do know some Danes do it too, but as far as I can tell, hearing from adoptees around the world, this is a primarily US custom. I don't know anyone personally who celebrates it, so I've never had anyone to be jealous of.

meh. I'm ranting and probably not making much sense.
I just sometimes get a little tired of "special days" in general. every day should be special, and you should appreciate and love people every day, not just cos the calendar tells you to.

yeah, I said it...

I'm a member of several Facebook groups for Korean adoptees, and for some reason some of them have been extremely active lately.

obviously, I'm a member by my own choice, but it can be really emotionally draining to see post after post in my news feed because it obviously brings matters to my attention and triggers feelings.

이광수ㅠㅠ♥

this will probably be turn out to be some weird post, but.. I dunno, it's been on my mind all day.

for a while now I've been an avid viewer of the Korean TV show Running Man, it's my absolute favourite show!
it took me a long while to see the light, but once I did I was hooked and I've been so ever since.

my kpop collection

note: the albums are best viewed on computer due to Google's layout, and the amount of pictures in each album

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some people like to buy clothes or jewelry or go out or live in an expensive home or drive a fancy car or buy shoes.
what I apparently like to spend my money on - besides traveling to Korea - is kpop stuff. literally.  

I live an extremely spartan life (let's not get into how spartan since this is not a personal post per se), and since early 2011, pretty much the only non-essential things I've bought for myself have been kpop related.

so by now, for an international fan, I think I have a fairly big collection.
and since I am a nosy person who always like to see what other people have, I figured, maybe someone would get a kick out of seeing what I have :)

or at least what I have had cos some things I've given away to friends, and some spares/doubles have been put up for sale. 

you can either click on single pictures if you wanna see full size, or just click on the first and view as slideshow from there on out.

if you're viewing full size on a computer, there's a white "i" up in the right hand corner. click it and you can see my comments for the pictures.

feel free to ignore those if you get sick of my gushing and/or squealing, but these weren't originally meant to be public albums, so all comments are made for me to remember my packages by.
on that note, you might find the packaging pics redundant, but I like to remember the boxes, too.

do share if you find any picture good enough for that, but DO NOT crop my watermark where added, DO NOT edit, and credit would be nice.

other than that, please enjoy~ :)

my kpop collection part 1

my kpop collection part 2

my kpop collection part 3

the albums will be randomly updated whenever I buy something new. which is too often...

something about posters

so, only more than a year after we started this whole apartment renovation project, and only like 6 months after we finished painting and put up the pinboards we made, we FINALLY got the posters up!

for years it has only been Taemin and Taemin, but since my main focus isn't SHINee anymore, and hubs was getting a little tired of it, we made it more of a joined kpop experience.

we got so many free posters in Korea, and over time I've bought so many with albums, so by now our collection was pretty big and diverse.

in time I might find something to fill the space above Taemin, but for now the puzzle just didn't wanna fit.

and no, I dunno why I post about my posters, I just feel like it.