Tuesday 15 November 2011

I ♥ drugs

So, yesterday was D-day.

I had to be at the hospital at 9:30 although the nurse told me I was 3rd on the OR schedule that day, so it probably wouldn't be my turn until a little after noon. But in case of cancellations or whatever they liked to have people in early to avoid gaps. Well, fine with me. Not like I had other plans..

I was barely keeping it together all morning, and once at the hospital I had to tell poor hubs, who likes to ask a lot of questions when he's interested and concerned, that he weren't allowed to ask me anything unless I said so. It was freaking me out, and when the sweet nurse asked me if I was okay I started to cry.
But that helped a little, and then we waited...
When we arrived she had already told me that the schedule had changed because there had been an emergency C-section first thing in the morning, so we had all been bumped for that. Oh well.

Side note: Why, oh, why must hospital underwear be how they are?!?

At a little to 11 she came back to inform me that the person in front of me in line had just been wheeled down to the OR, so the delay shouldn't be that bad after all. And then we waited..

And waited, but finally at 13:45 she came back and said they'd called up from the OR to let them know that I should stand by. She said that after that call patients were usually brought down within 45 minutes, but she had only just finished her sentence when two orderlies came to wheel me off! 
And then it was all so sudden and I didn't get to say bye to hubs or anything :'(

Getting wheeled through those corridors, laying there staring up at that white ceiling rushing by, knowing that I might have seen hubs for the last time (yes, I'm a drama queen, but it's not like shit never happens at hospitals after all)... I wanted to jump out of bed and just make a run for it.

I got parked outside the OR and after the orderlies left I just started bawling, I was so scared.
A nurse stopped and comforted me (I don't even think she was on my surgery team?) and I felt a little better. Another nurse came by and comforted me and I felt a little better.
Then the anesthesiology nurse came out and walked me through everything. He was very nice (hi, Michael ^^) and he had warm hands. I felt a little better.

Then I came in and climbed onto the table, (a little hard to do in a graceful way with short legs and no underwear on) and then all the prep began. Sweet Michael started filling me with all the good pre-drugs, and finally I stopped crying.
Mind you this was not 'feeling dizzy and high' drugs, this was just 'feeling sleepy and not caring' drugs AND THEY WORKED.

I don't know if it was nerves or the drugs but my saliva production apparently stopped and my mouth was seriously dry throughout and I kept "smacking my tongue" (sorry, don't know what that's called in any language, but you know how you do if your mouth is dry, right?) but nothing helped.

What hurt the most was getting the line put in for the drugs, and that didn't really hurt. I've had a million blood tests done by now and donated blood before the blood pressure meds, so I'm used to it.

The procedure itself was a breeze. Seriously. Everything went smoothly and according to plan. The fibroid was "quite large" aka 2cm x 2cm and took up most of the back wall of the uterus, whatever that means. But it was easy to get out so ┐('~`)┌
I kept anticipating when the pain would start, but it never came. Of course I could still feel what was going on, some pressure and light pinching, but no pain. The cauterization was the thing I felt the most, but it never hurt. It was just a warmth like if you pee yourself.

So I had plenty of time to concentrate on staying awake. I thought it would've been so embarrassing to fall asleep. What if I had started snoring really loud?! I have a weird thing about snoring cos everyone always comments on it, and I have the worst sleep when we have overnight guests.

And as soon as Michael stopped pushing the drugs it wore off in minutes and even before they'd finish cleaning me up and unhooking me to all the stuff, my head was clear again!!!
OH HAPPY FUCKING DAY. I was almost crying tears of joy when I was being wheeled back to my room. I was so clear I didn't even need to go to post-OR!

Okay, I'm done

And the first thing I asked the nurse when I got back to the room was "When can I go home?!". She told me I had to get up and walk around for a bit, but then a doc could consult and if I got the go-ahead I could go home.
I then asked if I could put on my own underwear (including the pad I brought from home because I've been to the hospital before and their pads? #DNW) and it was all good.
Then I wandered up and down the hallway for 30 minutes, but still no doc in sight. I did gather though that they were right in the middle of their changing of the guards, so I gave them a little time. And then we waited..

Suddenly hubs remembered that our parking license had expired by now, and that made me go ask at the nurses station if I could get that consult so we could avoid a huge parking ticket!
Doc came a looked at me and said all looked fine, so as soon as the nurse had been by to remove the line from my hand (I still had the saline drip hanging on) I was free to leave. Yay! And then we waited..

We decided that since it was getting close hubs should go get the car because we were parked a million miles away, and then I would just come down when I was done. So he left, and then I waited..
Then it got dark and I got tired of waiting. Seriously, I could've just pulled that thing out myself! So once again I went and bugged the nurses and asked if one of them had time to pull it out so I could blow this pop stand.

From I was wheeled down to surgery and until I was back in the room, it took all of 70 minutes. To get that doctor's consult and get the line in my hand removed took more than ONE AND A HALF. FLIPPIN. HOURS. And that was only cos I went and bugged them twice.
But finally free!!! 

And then it was straight home to make dinner!!!! GAAAAH ALMOST 24 HOURS WITHOUT FOOD WTFFF D: I was practically disappearing. But lots of delicious pasta/broccoli/avocado/tomato/mushroom/spring onions/chicken noms later I was hungreh no more.
And a few days of recuperating and the cramps should be gone. And it's not bad, really. So far no meds have been necessary.

Oh, and since everything went fine with the operating part he put in the new IUD while in there. Woot, sexy times!!! Well, as soon as I stop bleeding. Last time that took a fun 5-6 months to be completely over...........


The last thing to do before bed felt strange. Besides our families I actually had people that I needed to let know how everything had gone. People who had been praying for me and wishing me well. Sweet caring loving people who remembered and who was eager to know. I'm not really used to that...

Thank you, my lovelies


The only remnant of yesterday (along with my bloody pad, but I'll spare you the gore muahaha). If only all surgeries could be like that.



If only all drugs could be like that...

Wednesday 9 November 2011

왜...?

Yesterday I ate a small tin of sweetcorn. 


Since my insulin count..number..thing is through the roof and I'm 2 seconds away from developing diabetes I shouldn't be anywhere near sweetcorn or carbs in general, let alone eating it. I know this, yet I ate the entire tin. Granted, it was only, like, 120-130 grams, but still.


Why is it so difficult to do the things I know I should?


The things I want to do because I agree it's best for me, yet.. I don't. 
Like stay away from stupid sweetcorn when you know it could give you a life-long disease, or just diet in general. Or not even diet, just...stop the goddamn snacking. 
Or get off my ass once in a while and..move. Lose weight, get in shape, live happily ever after..


Why is it so hard to make myself a priority?