a light ♥

this was actually written on 130319, but, yeah, life and.. I'm sorry, girls ᅲᅲᅲᅲ

yesterday I was awoken from my peaceful slumber, not once, but twice.


first time was a couple of old ladies from Jehova's Witnesses, but I managed to get rid of them surprisingly quickly?
in hindsight it might have been cos I, in my half asleep state, opened the door in my underwear.. but I don't know, maybe they were just in a hurry..

the second time I managed to make my postman really uncomfortable with all my squealing over the package he brought me. either that or cos I was still in my underwear..

BUT JUST LOOK!!!

I laughed a little cos my name was SO big compared to the address.
and oh my god the customs declaration mad me all giddy cos 'letter'???!?! 

when I saw the Singapore stickers I knew the package was gonna be from Jac, the sweetheart ♥ she had bought me a Chanhee calendar from Chansa a long time ago and now it was finally here! 

but then I opened it and.. huh??

turns out it wasn't just from Jac, but from Sarah, too, so there were two letters!

the actual contents of the letters is irrelevant to anyone else but me, but as much as I loved all the goods, it was those two letters that brought me to tears ᅲᅲ
basically both of these precious people expressed their appreciation and gratitude towards me for being there for them in times where they've needed someone, and just generally cherishing our friendships.

I am a person that will never feel confident about myself, and I will probably always doubt if I'm really enough as just myself to be worthy of other people's love and affection, so what made me sob over those letters was that I had genuinely never once pretended or put on an extra effort with these two girls. 
how I've been towards them is literally just who I am, and it's been enough for both of them to feel this strongly.. 
even now as I look at those letters that realization makes me well up ᅲᅲ

maybe even more so because I just didn't see this coming at all, weird as it may sound, but these were some of the most meaningful letters I've ever gotten ♥

I think it's amazing how it's possible today to connect in such a meaningful way with people so far away, and I'm happy I'm at least able to do it easily with people like this when it's so hard for me to do it with the people around me..

anyway, onto the goods!

calendar, stickers, photos, a cute tin with photocards, and a cardholder 

he's perfect ♥

!!! omg look how bjutifuuul the back of those photocards are 

so many 

♥ thank you so much, Jac ♥

I couldn't remember by now what the calendar set included, but since it wasn't in the big pink envelope I assumed those big pieces of paper were some sort of posters from Sarah, and I was right!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!

now I don't know if you can tell that well from the picture, but she gave me two posters with SHINee's and Tintap's autographs ㅠㅠㅠ 
and yes, because of certain circumstances I know those are real.

♥ thank you so much, Sarah ♥

girls, you'll never know how much this means to me ;~;
I love you~♥