fortunate ♥

tonight after dinner and doing the dishes it was around 22:30 (we eat like Southern Europeans for some reason). I was really beat cos I hadn't slept enough last night, so I was contemplating if it was too early to go to bed.

and as I was sprawling on my bed, my big comfortable bed with soft clean bedding and big heavy pillows, it suddenly hit me.

to think that I am fortunate enough to have this in my life.

and then I turned my head and looked at hubs in the big lounge chair in the corner, sitting with his laptop, doing god knows what, and I just started weeping. 

I have a full belly, a big, comfortable bed, a roof over my head, peace in my country, and someone who loves me unconditionally.

I don't think I've ever felt so fortunate in my entire life. 

of course I've thought about all these things before, in fact, I think I'm very aware and grateful of my life because of everything I've been through, but this is the first time I remember feeling so incredibly lucky and fortunate with my entire being. 

and as I hugged hubs, I whispered to myself, "what a wonderful life" because despite money woes, mental illness, and possible lethal physical conditions, it really is.

each of those things I felt fortunate about might be a given for a lot of people, but it is so much more than what millions of people have, and - just for me personally - I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't appreciate it properly.

I'm not trying to sound religious about it, let's be real, most days I just pass out (though with a content sigh), but I dunno, something was different tonight..

I have a friend who has just been to India, and I just saw her make two tweets about how profound and life-changing that trip had been.

we haven't talked in a while so I don't know for what or how long she went, but I think her tweets triggered something in me cos it brought back memories of my own trip to India, and the intense level of poverty that just jumps up and punches you in the face and the heart by way of a flock of dirty children almost clinging to you, begging you for food or money or anything you wanna give them. it was like that pretty much everywhere we went as soon as we got out of the cab.

I dunno, maybe it didn't have anything to do with that, but the thought of those kids sure do make me appreciate every good and bad day I have here cos at least it's always better than that.

I wish you a wonderful life, too, dear reader ♥