|It was love at first coat ♥|
Believe it or not, but this right there is a milestone. That's right, a milestone.
For as long as I can remember I've had the nervous habbit of biting my nails. A lot. And since I'm a very high-strung person suffering from anxiety they used to be half the size in the pictures.
I always saw it as a barometer. If I were in a good phase I would bite less, and vice versa. There was a difference, even if you had to be me to notice it. To everyone else they were always just pretty horrible and I've always been really ashamed of my nails.
I would always position my hands so the nails would be as hidden as possible and if I had to hold on to say, a pole on the bus I would always curl in my fingers so they wouldn't show to the people around me. I always hoped no one would notice when I had to shake hands with people. And so on.
Now, my psychological issues are not going anywhere, and I gave up the dream of those long, gorgeous, French manicured nails a long time ago. As an enticement my parents once promised me nearly US$100 in today's currency. That may not seem like a lot, but this was almost 20 years ago and a hundred bucks was like, months of allowance all at once!
All I had to do was grow my nails long enough so you could see them when my palms were facing up.
Of course I couldn't do it and my faith that I would ever have beautiful nails and hands were kinda burried forever.
Fast forward a couple of decades and almost half of that in therapy
The left ring finger was the last to finally cave in after a couple of months of being the only one napped at.
Then came a couple of months of these tiny fragile nails breaking off for no good reason, and me having to start all over. In time they all recovered well though - which still amazes me because I know what they looked like! - and now they're all pretty solid.
So yesterday after having given myself a mani aka filed them down, I suddenly decided that today was gonna be the day. THE DAY. The day I had longed for all those years as a girl wanting to dress up as and looking up to all the Hollywood glamour stars with their beautiful hands waving on red carpets everywhere.
Today I was gonna put on a coat of nail polish on my fingernails. Because that is how well I'm doing.
Good enough for polish...