yesterday

so, yesterday life was going pretty good. sure, hubs had bought a new motorcycle less than a week after he bought the first one, so we now have deal with the hassle of selling the first one, there were still lots to take care of before we were ready to leave for camping holiday on Friday, but we were getting there, and my period was being its usual bitchy self, but overall things were good. 

and then my doc called.

I do

I just read an article in the NY Times about a 41 year old woman, an adoptee, who went back to Korea in 2004, and who, apparently, has been a leading part of the campaign that eventually lead the country to change its laws, so for the first time ever it's actually stipulated, that the country should reduce international adoptions of Korean children.

The government provides stipends for domestic adoptive parents and single mothers who wants to keep their children, and there has to be a period of at least 6 months wherein a child is sought to receive domestic adoptive parents before it is made available for international adoption. 

New mothers also have to spend the first week after giving birth with their child, while receiving counselling about the possibilities of keeping the baby before she can relinquish custody.

I can't count high enough for this

there are a lot of things I love about K-fans.
their dedication and devotion to their oppars and eonnirs being one.
their willingness (for the most part) to provide i-fans with pics and cams being another.

what I loathe is the adolescent sense of entitlement and ownership over these people, that some of them display.
the way they feel it's their right to to start rumours and take things out of context and twist it around, and act like it's the universal truth.
the way they scheme and lie, and somehow manages to make waves that reaches all the way to the top.
the way they don't care to consider and respect that real people's careers, reputations and sometimes lives are at stake.

the way they deliberately hurt people.

I am so pissed and frustrated right now. I don't usually bother with rumours or bitches, but this brought Woollim out, and he deleted all of his tweets. those are not usual steps for random harmless rumours..

my heart is breaking a million times over at the thought of how he may be feeling these days.

"Infinite is something I want to protect for life" - 김성규

if he ends up leaving over this..




on another note, it's making me cry even harder to see so many of all the noonas continuously tweet him their unyielding love and support, regardless of whose noona they are ㅠㅠㅠ ♥

mind over matter

A/N: for reasons of embarrassment and vulnerability, the post mentioned below (*) has been removed, but you'll get the idea

you know that feeling where your life just seems to be happening to you? I have no idea what's going on at the moment, my feelings just run amok, and me and my sanity are just one huge question mark, taken along for the insane roller coaster ride that is my life these days.

by no means does that mean that I haven't done so much thinking over the past few days, it makes me wonder how I have energy left to do anything but lie in bed and drool. it just means that I'm wondering if this is how severely manic-depressive people feel. cos really.

Berlin with the girls ♥

a while back during the many many months that was Danish winter this year, Marie asked the girls if we wouldn't like to make a girls' spring trip to Berlin. 

due to money and schedules and whatnot, in the end it was just Marie, Stine and me who ended op going.

the concept for the trip was clear from the get-go:

it was about a break from kids and husbands and daily chores, and about having time. time to shop, time to eat, time to talk, time to sleep, time to care only about your own adult needs (okay that sounds ambiguous) for 3 days! 

fortunate ♥

tonight after dinner and doing the dishes it was around 22:30 (we eat like Southern Europeans for some reason). I was really beat cos I hadn't slept enough last night, so I was contemplating if it was too early to go to bed.

and as I was sprawling on my bed, my big comfortable bed with soft clean bedding and big heavy pillows, it suddenly hit me.

to think that I am fortunate enough to have this in my life.

and then I turned my head and looked at hubs in the big lounge chair in the corner, sitting with his laptop, doing god knows what, and I just started weeping. 

I have a full belly, a big, comfortable bed, a roof over my head, peace in my country, and someone who loves me unconditionally.

I don't think I've ever felt so fortunate in my entire life. 

of course I've thought about all these things before, in fact, I think I'm very aware and grateful of my life because of everything I've been through, but this is the first time I remember feeling so incredibly lucky and fortunate with my entire being. 

and as I hugged hubs, I whispered to myself, "what a wonderful life" because despite money woes, mental illness, and possible lethal physical conditions, it really is.

each of those things I felt fortunate about might be a given for a lot of people, but it is so much more than what millions of people have, and - just for me personally - I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't appreciate it properly.

I'm not trying to sound religious about it, let's be real, most days I just pass out (though with a content sigh), but I dunno, something was different tonight..

I have a friend who has just been to India, and I just saw her make two tweets about how profound and life-changing that trip had been.

we haven't talked in a while so I don't know for what or how long she went, but I think her tweets triggered something in me cos it brought back memories of my own trip to India, and the intense level of poverty that just jumps up and punches you in the face and the heart by way of a flock of dirty children almost clinging to you, begging you for food or money or anything you wanna give them. it was like that pretty much everywhere we went as soon as we got out of the cab.

I dunno, maybe it didn't have anything to do with that, but the thought of those kids sure do make me appreciate every good and bad day I have here cos at least it's always better than that.

I wish you a wonderful life, too, dear reader ♥

a light ♥

this was actually written on 130319, but, yeah, life and.. I'm sorry, girls ᅲᅲᅲᅲ

yesterday I was awoken from my peaceful slumber, not once, but twice.

me2day

I'm so done with drama.

130208-10 Paris for Teen Top

note: as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you don't wanna listen to me rant about everything, you can just scroll to the bottom for pics and cams

∞ ∞ ∞

I am not a superstitious person, but when the security check point person said that our tickets gave him the result "not departing from this airport" after we had checked in both at home AND at an airport self-service machine, I quietly muttered, as we had to trek to the other end of the airport to check in at a service desk, "let's hope this isn't an omen for the trip in general.."

well.

my babies are back ;~; ♥