190608-09 Paris for Bangtan 'Speak Yourself' at Stade De France

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

∞∞∞

∞∞∞

the time before we left for Paris, I was so super stressed, I barely had time to look forward to it. it was mostly a million other life things so I only had a little energy left to worry about the area we were staying at and how it would turn out to be. and if I would even be able to see anything from how far away our seats were at the concert. 

overall though, I was honestly just happy to be going at all. 

August 19th 2017

this post is dated back months cos I needed the time. the time to process, but also just the actual time to write this. I trust you'll forgive the incoherence considering the subject matter.


in one week, maybe even to the day, after almost two decades together, me and hubs are getting divorced. 


even now, saying or even writing it, still feels surreal. I mean, I feel it, when I stop and actually think about it, I feel it and it makes me cry instantly, but at the same time it's just. so. unbelievable. like incurable deceases or actual deaths or other things that are just as Final. (not that I'm comparing death and divorce, I am comparing the finality)

171218 삼가 고인의 명복을 빕니다 ㅠㅠ

yesterday, Jonghyun chose to end his own life, and now, 24 hours later, it still doesn't feel real. the tears in my eyes tell me it's real, but my head still can't wrap around it.

170809-10 Paris for Monsta X 'Beautiful' ♥

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, feel free to scroll.

∞∞∞

few things in life are easy, and apparently it's been decided that in my life, kpop concerts aren't one of those few things.
ps. this will be a rant about why MMT is shit.

160602-03 Paris for Kcon

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about Kcon, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.
but pics and cams are at the bottom, so feel free to scroll when you get bored.

∞∞∞

when Bangtan was first revealed for Kcon in Paris, I'll be honest, it felt like a bad dream, not a good one.

mainly cos we have not been good at saving for Korea this time. hubs is weak before motorcycles, and I am weak before rare Bangtan merch and new-might-soon-be-oop merch and concert merch and Bighit just have no fucking chill what. so. ever.
so the nice, comfortable, airy travel budget we had hoped for would become a significantly more tight one if we decide to go, and for the longest time I wrestled with whether or not that sacrifice would be worth it. cos as weak as I am before Bangtan, Korea is my main priority.

never forget

a friend asked me just a couple of weeks ago, what I thought I would do or how I thought my life would be if I suddenly didn't have hubs anymore.
I told her, as was true after just a few years and even moreso now after 16, that I would be utterly fucked.
I wouldn't think my life would be over. it's not surprising that life must end so of course there is a chance I will be alone at some point, and I have been through too much to get suicidal over that.

but I would be completely and utterly lost.

151010-12 Berlin for Infinite Effect

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's like 90 percent irrelevant stuff.

∞∞∞

last night we came back from a three day trip to Berlin to go see Infinite on their 2nd world tour, Infinite Effect.
it was a..strange trip, filled with so many mixed emotions.. but fitting cos the entire process have been odd this time, and before we left I had only told two people about it.

141013 #침침생축ㅎ ♥

지민이 ♥

방탄이의 베이글남 사나이 박지민 ♥

생일 죽하해!!!

140831 Lotte Family Concert

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

∞∞∞

due to the Sewol tragedy, the 18th Lotte Duty-Free Family Concert had been postponed from..April, I think, until now, and since Bangtan was performing (maybe as replacement for GOT7? who were originally on the schedule, but didn't perform) I was d e s p e r a t e to attend.

140823 나눔 Sharing Concert in Seoul

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna read about the concert, there's gonna be irrelevant stuff.

∞∞∞

a couple of days earlier, when I was checking Bangtan's schedule for fansigns, I did notice that they suddenly had this performance on the program even though I had heard no one talk about it.
but since it was just two days away, and I am completely clueless about how to go about things here in Korea, I just shrugged it off.

but then the next night a sweet new aquaintance, who's also in Korea at the moment, asked if we were going to the concert, and I was like, no cos no tickets and blah blah blah.
then she said to try and search on twitter, cos she had just bought one for 35000 Won. I was completely mind-blown cos 35k?!!? what the hell, why so cheap?!?

she told me to search in Korean, and I told her I don't understand Korean at that level, but in the end I still gave it a shot cos what the hell, it couldn't hurt, right?